What would we do, baby?

It's been a long standing point of social tension the way the "Friends" theme song contradicts itself. You know, one part says, "So no one told you life was gonna be this way (clap clap clap clap)"... and then later on goes on to say, "Your mother warned you there'd be days like these." Some think the song uses figurative language, while others insist the maternal warning spoken of is in something other than verbal communication, thus no one "told" you. I'm sure this has caused us all many sleepless nights.

However, today I started singing the "Family Ties" theme to myself, and I had a shocking realization. It too seems to have a contradiction of sorts, or at least a stupid question. The song ponders the question, "What would we do, baby, without us?" Well, isn't it obvious? Without "us" there would be no "we" to do anything. So I started thinking... maybe I was running a fever and getting confused... maybe the song really went, "What would we do, baby, without love?", or some other variation. But, a quick Googling confirmed my suspicions, as seen here (this also has some sound and video samples).

Kind of makes you wonder if this is all part of Hollywood's attempt to distort reality, and gradually take control of our minds. I mean we knew about "Friends", but how long has this really been going on? What if they are exercising mind control without words?... Yes, next I must listen to the theme from "Sanford & Son" backwards, and see if I can dig any deeper into this mystery. And the most disturbing thing about the whole night? I found out Tina Yothers is older than me!!